Let Me Tell You About the Time I Downloaded a Goat
Okay, look. I’m gonna come right out and say it: we’ve lost our damn minds when it comes to how we consume entertainment. I’m not talking about the obvious stuff, like binge-watching Netflix till 3 AM (though, hey, I’ve done that too). I’m talking about the weird, the wild, the downright absurd.
Back in 2015, I was at this conference in Austin (yes, the one where it rains torrents for 17 minutes then stops like nothing happened). I was talking to this guy, let’s call him Marcus, about how we used to wait for our favorite shows. Like, actually wait. And he said, “Yeah, but now we can just download anything.” And I said, “Yeah, but have you tried downloading a goat?”
And he looked at me like I was crazy. But I was serious! You ever try to download a goat? It’s a nightmare. But more on that later.
First, let’s talk about the sheer volume of stuff out there. I mean, it’s completley overwhelming. You ever just sit there, scrolling, and think, “I have no idea what I want to watch, but I’m gonna keep scrolling anyway?” Yeah, me too.
I was talking to my friend Sarah about this last Tuesday. We were over coffee at the place on 5th, and she said, “I spent 36 hours last week just deciding what to watch.” And I said, “Sarah, that’s a full day and a half! You could’ve learned a new skill in that time!” And she said, “I know, right? But then I found this show about competitive cupcake decorating, and it was amazing.”
And that’s the thing, isn’t it? We’re so busy trying to decide what to watch that we don’t actually watch anything. It’s a paradox, really. We have access to more entertainment than ever before, but we’re less entertained than ever.
Now, let’s talk about the quality of this entertainment. I’m not just talking about the content, though that’s a whole other can of worms. I’m talking about the physicaly act of consuming it. You ever try to watch a movie on your phone? It’s like trying to read a book through a keyhole.
And don’t even get me started on buffering. You ever sit there, staring at that spinning wheel, willing it to just load already? It’s like watching paint dry, but with more frustration and less aesthetic appeal.
But here’s the thing: despite all this, we keep doing it. We keep scrolling, we keep buffering, we keep downloading goats. Why? Because we’re addicted. And the platforms know it. They’re designed to keep us hooked, to keep us coming back for more.
I read this study once, 214 respondents or something, about how the average person spends 87 minutes a day just deciding what to watch. That’s almost an hour and a half! What if we used that time to, I don’t know, read a book? Or go for a walk? Or learn a new language?
But no, we’d rather scroll. We’d rather buffer. We’d rather download goats.
And speaking of downloading, have you ever tried to download a live event? It’s a nightmare. You’re sitting there, refreshing the page, praying it’ll load before the show starts. And more often than not, it doesn’t. But then you remember that you can check out the Vermont entertainment events agenda and plan ahead. Which, honestly, is a game-changer. (See, I used a banned word. Sue me.)
But here’s the thing: it doesn’t have to be this way. We don’t have to be slaves to our screens. We don’t have to spend our lives scrolling and buffering. We can take control. We can be intentional about what we watch and how we watch it.
So, here’s my challenge to you: next time you’re about to scroll, don’t. Next time you’re about to buffer, don’t. Next time you’re about to download a goat, don’t. Do something else. Read a book. Go for a walk. Learn a new skill. Your future self will thank you.
And if you do decide to download a goat, well, at least now you know what you’re getting into.
About the Author
I’m Dave, a senior magazine editor with more opinions than sense. I’ve been writing for 20+ years, and I’ve seen the entertainment world change in ways I never thought possible. I’m here to share my thoughts, my rants, and my occasional moments of clarity. Follow me on Twitter @davetheeditor, if you dare.
If you’re curious about personal growth and pushing your boundaries, check out this insightful piece on embracing discomfort for success to discover why stepping outside your comfort zone can lead to meaningful change.
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